Nothing to extensive, alwaysin private and mostly for sexual gratification. I purged countless timemostly because I was disgusted with how I looked and convinced that Icould never be an attractive and passable woman.The internet replaced my cross dressing and for a long time satisfiedmy feminine urges. Viewing shemale porn sites, female impersonatorsites and reading fiction stories seemed to satisfy me.All that changed two years ago .Fifty years old ,newly divorced andliving in a small apartment the urge to feminize myself returned andthis time stronger than ever.I started to cross dress again. This time the cross dressing didn'tbring me sexual gratification. It just felt comfortable wearing femaleattire. At home I preferred to be dressed as a female as much aspossible. I started to wear female undergarments to work. I evenstarted to were some mascara and lip gloss; just enough to constantlyremind me of my feminity, but not enough for the public to notice. Aslong as I didn't look in. " Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound quite like that. But you know what I mean."I was spotted in the audience that evening, and when Aileen and I left by the stage door, I think we got more attention from the press than the pop singer her little troop of four dancers had been supporting. I also got the feeling that the singer wasn't too enamoured that all four dancers were leaving with me and not going to the little party he had planned for later. We all went to a different party at John and Helen's chateau again.The following day Stella and I flew back to the UK because I had pre-planned book signings to attend. Aileen and the girls had numerous more bookings in southern Europe so she couldn't come with me. The little sensation of Aileen and me being seen together in the south of France had unexpectedly resulted in a sudden rush of modelling bookings for Aileen as well.She called me almost the moment they started coming in and asked me what she should do about them."What do you mean,.
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